Lessons You Should Have Learned From Your Past Relationships

Breakups might leave you feeling bereft but every failed relationship comes with a lesson, be it good or bad. Ultimately they will help you establish what you're looking for in a partner and make you a happier and healthier person.

Lesson 1: accept that not all relationships last

Once you accept that some relationships are temporary, you can learn to stop blaming yourself for what you see as relationship failures. Instead take them for what they are - helpful life lessons.Perhaps your personalities didn't fit well, your goals weren't the same and your priorities conflicted. If you're honest with yourself you'll admit that you're much better off as a result of the relationship and breakup than you would have been had you not experienced them at all.

Lesson 2: learn how to apply lessons

Look at past relationships and reassess your priorities now that you're single

Lesson 3: look in the mirror

Look at what you could improve about your own behaviour in a relationship. Do you communicate your feelings enough? Are you too strong-headed? Think about what has negatively impacted your past relationships before entering a new one.

Lesson 4: take stock of your own life

Don't expect future partners to fix you. In fact, if your ideal partner were to find you in mess, chances are he would make a speedy retreat. It's vital to take steps to change what it is that you don't like about your life.

Lesson 5: value single time

You need to be able to rely on yourself, not others. "Me time" will help you heal, learn your lessons and discover your own resilience, which you won't be able to do if you jump straight back into a relationship.

Boys Are Insane In The Membrane

It’s funny how the people that hurt you the most, are the one’s that promised they never would.

This year has been undoubtedly atrocious for me since the beginning. How things progressively became more and more deplorable still fails to make sense. After finally cutting the chord over a year go with the jackass that had ruined my life I thought everything was gonna turn around for me. Because honestly what could be worse than all the twaddle that i had already been through with him for years? It only seemed logical to think that everything was going to be better for me. Or so i thought…

Surprise Surprise he is back! This time he isn't taking no for an answer. How in the world am I supposed to get rid of him? I cut him so long ago and now he is so damn persistent that he will win me back that its turning him into a stalker. FML!

Common Lies They Tell You

1.) Always be yourself- how do you know who you are until you try to be someone you're not

2) You shouldnt care what others think about you- how else do you better yourself and i dont like apathetic people much

3) Be true to yourself- everyone needs to lie to themselves every once in a while to make it through the day

4) Love like youve never been hurt- too often people get caught up in this artificial idea of love constructed by novelists, disney, and hallmark. Never ever lose sight of reality and there is nothing wrong with being pessimistic. Maybe there is such a thing as love, and if there is and its sooo magical, it will magically make the logistics work out, you should never have to work at it...and in the same way there is no realtionship in life you dont have to tend to.

5) Dance like no ones watching- why...i think its more fun to dance with other people to have them enjoy your energy and you their's. Ease into this idea, and to do that you have to dance with people watching, and even when you can pretend youre completely alone...you still know youre not...and so what?

6) Stop and smell the roses- if you like the smell of roses, not everyone else does, some people like life zooming past them at a high speed that results in a rush of adrenaline and whats so wrong with being an adrenaline junkie?

7.) Your life is shaped by the choices you make- who thought it was necessary to write this???...seriously? id really like to know

Find the Morsals of Positive in all

Ive realized that my greatest insecurity is my mind...and that's it. I just need to have faith in my own abilities...I may not be the most brilliant mind, but I am intelligent and thus have something to offer the world. Someone may read this and feel differently...and thats exactly the point of it I guess...just being okay with that.

What I learned today----The world is sooo fucked up...Where do you begin trying to change it...everything is wrong in someones eyes. Every action has and equal and opposite reaction...and that reaction is both negative and positive. You can't even assess which is the greater evil. People will never be treated as equals, its through hiearchy that we find identity...and we need the illusion of identity to fuction....so fucked.

While I inherently believe that hiearchy is necessary to find identity(thus inequality), and people need identity to function. What is the point in accepting that? What will that get me personally? Maybe the point isnt the ends but the process. Life is too short to have a pessimistic attitude.

My mother always says "A good attitude will always make a bad situation better," and I couldn't agree more. Sure I have those days where Im feeling down and miserable...but don't we all? Think positive...do positive things...and your life will in turn be more positive..

No fairytale Ending here....

Every girl dreams of the day that her beloved will ask her to marry him....Am I the only unfortunate one that wishes she could erase that day? Its been haunting me ever since it happened this past August. Everything was perfect from the words he said...to the surprise... to the ring. The only thing that wasnt right, was him. I cannot entrust my life in the hands of someone who did me dirty. You cannot lie to a girl, cheat on her, emotionally abuse her and then one day realize you were wrong for it and think you can just wipe your hands clean of your wrongdoings.

After going and screwing a bunch of sluts you decided you want a good girl again? If a girl did the same thing it wouldn't be treated the same simply because of this ludicrous double standard society has laid down for us, where men go through this "phase" and then "eventually mature" but if a girl does the same she is labeled as trash. I'm not advocating promiscuous behavior but I do think this double standard shouldnt exist.

Since the day I rejected his proposal he has made life so difficult to me. Sure we had good times, I cant deny that. If he never made me happy it wouldnt have lasted for 3 years but that doesnt mean I need to marry him.

I have had such a hard time dealing with everything that I feel I will lose myself in this. He doesnt deserve me and we both know that but I think its too hard for him to let go. Maybe he in fact has realized his mistake... and maybe all the things he said to me are true... but he can never take back what he did... and I can never forget it.

Im sick and tired of crying. Its hard for me to even begin to explain what Im feeling. Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.

I want to go back to the way I was.... happy and full of life, and I dont want anything to hold me back. I just want to move forward and be happy, be content.

I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has made its crack this year. What I'm afraid of is shattering again.....

Free at Last

For the first time in my life...I really feel like I'm not dependant on anyone. Its a nice feeling. It feels like every time I get out of a relationship, I tell myself I'm going to do it...I'm going to be okay being completely by myself (no depending on friends, or guys) and grow as a individual, but then I meet someone or rely way too heavily upon my best friends and that goes out the window. Not this time though. I have no guy in my life, and my best friends are busy in their own lives. I'm not going to pretend this new achievement is all my own doing...It happened last month when I was confronted with the only issue from my past that I still haven't learned to deal with and that has pretty much defined my life and character since it happened(even though its been over a year) it ended with confrontation, and I was genuinely a mess, I felt like I couldn't even breathe. I dealt with it completely on my own and it felt so liberating. I really don't need anyone, I'll always be okay on my own. I'll always figure it out. I'm not saying that I don't have people in my life that will be there for me who I appreciate more than anything...I do. I just think its important for everyone to learn to be okay not needing anyone...and after a long conversation with a friend who has been w/ her bf so long she thinks she's completely socially dependant on him...I realized I had achieved my goal. To all the girls(or guys) that sit around and talk about how they want a boyfriend(or girlfriend), or need someone to call them and ask how their day was, or have that one friend they feel the need to share EVERY instance of their life with...goodluck....you should know its quite liberating...give it a try.

My Parents

I've always seen similarities between myself and my mother, and I'm so thankful for everything that shes taught me. She taught me to be a generous person, and always give everything before thinking of taking anything. She taught me to give back to my community through service and charity. She taught me that your mind is all you have, because looks are fleeting. She taught me to never act in a manner that would damage the respect people had for me, to never let my emotions or passions control me so greatly that I lost sight of reality. She taught me its okay to always speak your mind, and to be a powerful strong woman. She taught me to look at things with rationality, but never underestimate the fact that there is something beyond it that rationality can't take into account. I love that she lectured me about history when I really felt like I was going to explode if she referenced another historical tid bit. Little did I know it then, but it allows me to view the world in a completely different way, that I had taken for granted until I met people who literally lacked the ability to see things from different perspectives. I love when we argue politics, or culture and neither one of us can ever admit we're wrong, and we both play devils advocate. I love the fact that my mom doesn't indulge in pettiness and gossip like so many Indian moms I know. I love that she can do a million things at the same time, and that she may not have given me the skill of multi-tasking, but she gave me the desire which is just as good I suppose. I am who I am because of my mother, and I couldn't be more grateful...because I genuinely like who I am.

So as for my dad, he is a brilliant, amazing, good-hearted man. He has given me so much love and affection that I can never show him how much I appreciate it, and this man would do ANYTHING to make me happy. Does he spoil me?....absolutely. But he also teaches whats important in life, so I never lose sight of whats important. He raised me to be a daughter who didn't want to disappoint her parents because she loves them and is considerate, rather than one who fears punishment and tries to get away with everything she can. Basically I have the most amazing parents in the world! I realize that they do sooooo much for my sake that maybe its time I'm a little more considerate(because they raised me to be self-reflective).